CMADDICT.com

Tag: This Is My Story

  • “‘This can’t be real, everything will be fine in a few hours,’ I told myself” – Marilyn’s Story

    “‘This can’t be real, everything will be fine in a few hours,’ I told myself” – Marilyn’s Story

    My pregnancy was pretty uneventful. All the check ups were good. My water broke in my home at 10 pm, it was around four weeks before Luisa’s due date. As I endured thirteen hours of labor, all I could think about was how when it was all over, I was going to have a baby of my own. I couldn’t wait to meet her and have a little family. I was so excited to see my baby. When she finally arrived and I laid my eyes on her I felt so much love, like I had never felt before.

    I was in a new kind of love.

    The doctor wasn’t handing her to me though. Things were not going the way I was told they would in my birthing class. No skin to skin. I could tell something was wrong. The neonatologist was apprehensive about handing her over for a picture with me and my husband. They wrapped my baby up tight in a blanket and he quickly sat her down on me for a photo. Then he took her back right away, and my husband was asked to go to the NICU with her.

    “‘This can’t be real, everything will be fine in a few hours,’ I told myself.”

    People showed up to see my baby, but we all just sat in my hospital room staring at each other. No baby in the room. I felt like everyone was disappointed. I gave birth at 11 am, and for the rest of that day my loved ones hung around waiting to see the baby. At the end of the day, I finally was able to stand and walk over to the NICU and see her. I was not allowed to hold her because she was too unstable. I was uneasy but I still felt like we would have her home in a few hours. Hours turned into days, days turned into weeks, and weeks would turn into months. No answers, just scary strange rhetoric from what felt like a very insensitive hospital staff.

     

     

    After a few days of visiting our local NICU, where Luisa was, we were told about a genetic disease called central congenital hypoventilation syndrome. One lonely night sitting by my daughter’s bedside, a nurse decided to tell me the tale of Ondine’s Curse. Ondine’s Curse is another name for central congenital hypoventilation syndrome.

    As I sat there, listening to him tell the mythical story of a mermaid who cursed her cheating husband to stop breathing each time he fell asleep, I felt like I was in the twilight zone. A numbness was growing in me. It was becoming very clear to me that bringing my baby home was not going to be easy. I wasn’t just going to wake up to the good news that she had gotten better overnight.

    I began questioning, asking God to show me what my role was in this.

    How can I still be her mom?

    How can I still show her love?

    How can I take care of her?

    The birthing class had not taught me any of this.

    The genetic test was ordered. We were told that it could take up to six weeks for results. Luisa was stabilized on noninvasive ventilation for about a week, and while things were a little less scary, she was not getting any better. There was no hope of weaning her off of life support.

    We decided, after a few unpleasant encounters with the neonatologist in our local NICU, to transfer Luisa to Texas Children’s Hospital in Houston. The Kangaroo Crew picked us up in a private jet. They were so kind. I felt like it was the first time I had been treated with respect since my daughter had been born. They treated me like I was a mom, not a defective woman who gave birth to a defective little human.

    It was at Texas Children’s and the Ronald McDonald House that I began to learn my role as Luisa’s mom. We received the results of the genetic test, and they were positive. The staff at Texas Children’s treated my baby like she was something really special. They taught me how to care for a baby with a tracheostomy. I felt like I was getting some of my control back.

    At Ronald McDonald House I met other families with sick kids. I felt like I wasn’t alone anymore. I also met another mom whose baby had a tracheostomy, and it was a magical moment I will never forget. The narrative in my mind was changing, and God was showing me what I had asked him for. After close to three months in the hospital, we finally brought Luisa home.

    Luisa turned four a couple of weeks ago. She is a happy, healthy child who loves music and dancing. She takes jazz and ballet. Luisa’s favorite show is spider man and she loves to go to the beach.

    My experience as Luisa’s mom is always changing, and God is always showing me how to navigate my role. I am so proud to say that throughout her life I have never gotten angry at God for this path we are on. I trust God more than ever now. I know what it feels like to be carried by him in love.

    – Marilyn Bailey marilynbailey2935

     

  • “I don’t want women to abort their babies because they feel alone or are being pressured to” – Brianna’s Story

    “I don’t want women to abort their babies because they feel alone or are being pressured to” – Brianna’s Story

    As a young woman in high school, I found myself in an unplanned pregnancy. I loved my baby and wanted to keep it, but was surrounded by pressure from others to abort. Unfortunately, I didn’t speak up for my baby and underwent the abortion procedure. The experience left me traumatized, depressed, alone, and suicidal. After two years of suffering, God spoke to me about forgiveness and I began my healing journey. 

    Ten years later, I found myself in another unplanned pregnancy. I was shocked, but understood that all babies are a gift from God. The dad was and still is struggling with issues of his own and isn’t involved. However, my family was supportive and have helped me raise my sweet baby boy.

    A couple months after giving birth, I was reflecting on how blessed I am to have the support I do, and God gave me a heart for women who may be lacking support and community. I thought about how many women there are who want their babies but are being pressured to abort or feel alone and scared. It crushed my heart. I don’t want anyone to suffer the way I did in high school. I don’t want women to abort their babies because they feel alone or are being pressured to.

     

     

    Although I would love to end all abortions, I feel that God is calling me to this specific niche of women who are being pressured. So, Unite for Lives was born. UFL exists to prevent forced and pressured abortions by empowering women to choose life! I wish someone would’ve been at the abortion clinic the day I underwent the procedure and told me they would help me and my baby – so that’s what I’m going to do!

    UFL has a large banner addressing women who may be feeling pressured to abort, and we connect them to community resources depending on what they need given their situation. There are vast financial resources, housing assistance, adoption options, and so on that we can equip women with so they feel confident to choose life. We also offer free postpartum support so that they don’t feel alone.

    If a mom signs up for the postpartum program, a volunteer will visit her home to help with housework, running errands, or holding the baby so the mom can rest. Volunteers are also emotionally supportive, and the idea and hope with the postpartum program is to unite community members so we can all support each other and be the hands and feet of Christ. Life is so much better done together! 

    UFL is also educating communities on the negative emotional impacts of abortion. This issue isn’t discussed enough in our society, and I want to change that. Women ought to be fully aware of the potential psychological risks of abortion such as depression, regret, guilt, shame, anxiety, and more. UFL has a YouTube channel that will be used to educate people on this issue as well as sharing testimonies about abortion trauma to get the conversation going. If you want to share your story, please contact me!

    Thanks for taking the time to read my story and learn about UFL. If you would like to learn more or partner with us, you can visit uniteforlives.com or email me at uniteforlives@gmail.com 

    – Brianna Erfman (Founder of Unite For Lives)
     

     

     

  • “All I could do is blink” – Kevin’s Thorson’s Story

    “All I could do is blink” – Kevin’s Thorson’s Story

    The story of my accident, founding a Christian music website and why I’m pro-life.

     

    I was nineteen when I broke my neck in Canada. At the time I was diagnosed with a C2 complete spinal chord injury which meant I had nothing. I couldn’t move, breathe or feel anything. All I could do is blink. The doctor there was sure to inform my parents that I would never regain anything. He tried to convince them that “pulling the plug” was the only reasonable option. I wanted to live, even with so much loss. The doctor wasn’t going to ask my wishes though. You see the hospital there was a organ donor hospital, and I was young, healthy and athletic. I was more valuable dead than alive.

    I don’t know what it’s like to be a child in the womb being “terminated” but I do know how it feels to be considered unwanted. My body in pieces would have meant more than the complete person that God had created me to be.. I wasn’t going to be given a choice. My desire to live meant nothing. I would have in effect been terminated. Thankfully, my parents said no.

    Before my accident in ’97 I had played guitar. Music was everything to me. I loved to write songs and sing. At that time in my life I had been saving up money to join a group doing missionary work, mostly through music. I obviously didn’t make it and would never sing again. However, God is faithful and good. I have regained a lot of neurological function that doctors said would never be possible. I still remain mostly disabled.

    Since I loved guitar and singing so much but could no longer do either one I decided to get involved in music in a different way. So in March of 2009, I redirected my two great loves – God and music – into a site dedicated to both called CMADDICT.com. I guess I will always be addicted to Jesus and the music that glorifies Him.

    – Kevin Thorson (Founder and Editor of CMADDICT.com)

     

    Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer person is decaying, yet our inner person is being renewed day by day. For our momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal. 2 Cor. 4:16-18

    More of my story:

    As a young Christian, Kevin Thorson was a normal, healthy 19-year-old. Music was his life, and he planned to play his guitar and use his talents for God. Abruptly, all seemed to end July 11, 1997.

    His mother recalls the words from that dreaded phone call: Pam, you need to sit down . . . Kevin has been in an accident . . . paralyzed . . . ventilator . . . hospital . . . She could only comprehend the bits in between those horrifying words. Kevin was lying paralyzed on a ventilator in a foreign country with a broken neck.

    Pam Thorson, with painful openness, recounts the true story of her family’s nightmare as they struggled to live out their faith in the face of impossible odds. Song of the Night traces the journey of her family to find peace in the midst of so much darkness.

    Read the book here.

     

    Contact me:  admin@cmaddict.com