Then Jesus said, ‘Come to Me….’
– Matthew 11:28
We couldn’t find her all day.
P.T. has always been an independent little kitty. She’s a senior citizen in cat years, a streetwise old lady. She loves living outdoors, although she usually comes up every night to be locked safely into the large kitty kennel.
Last night, she didn’t come up to her bed and spent the entire night outside. This morning, she sauntered up for her usual breakfast. But when I walked away and turned my back for a moment, she let out a heartbreaking yowl and took off. At first, I thought she might have been bitten by a snake, since she was standing by my golden barbary bush. We have killed two snakes around that bush in recent years, a bullsnake and a rattler.
But I couldn’t find anything that may have hurt her. It occurred to me that she yowled when she tried to eat. An infected tooth, maybe?
I went looking for her and found her under the camper. Our other cat followed along and walked up to P.T., curious. P.T. batted at her and took off again.
Throughout the day, we searched for her without success. When our daughter came home from work, she hunted until she found the cat huddled under a shed. She refused to come out, even when offered her favorite food. In fact, she crawled back deeper into the corner under the shed.
We’re at a loss. Not only does she refuse to come to us, she runs away as if we’re the ones who have hurt her. We’re unable to help her until she comes to us or allows us to come to her. There’s no way to communicate to her that we didn’t cause her pain, and we can help.
Watching our kitty suffer and run from us has stirred some uncomfortable questions for me.
Do I suffer needlessly at times because I won’t allow God near me? Do I blame Him on any level for my wounds?
Why do we run from God when we hurt, and why do we refuse to let Him pick us up? What do we fear in surrendering our sorrows to Him?
Why can’t we trust Him?
P.T. doesn’t understand what is happening to her, but I know God better than this. And He deserves better than my mistrust.
Wholeness is rarely found in hiding. If you’re hurting, let God pull you out from under the shed. Or better yet, run to Him.